Selah

Oh Hello, 2012

2012 is my year for adulting. Only one problem… Did I really graduate? It would have been nice for Vanderbilt to shoot me an email saying Cool - you’re done. I mean, here I am wondering if I may have miscalculated one credit hour along the way, and I’ll actually have to tell my employer “Oops! Looks like I’m not done with college after all. Check back with me in May.”

But have no fear, faithful tumblr followers. The year 2012 has so much adulting in store…

Four adulting things I have already accomplished in 2012:

1. I have officially graduated! Diploma and all.
2. I have bookmarked an array of food, DIY, and personal finance blogs that will teach me how to be a successful adult.
3. I have signed an acceptance letter for what I pray will be the lowest paying job of my life.
4. I have printed one credit report from freecreditreport.com (I know you’re allowed to get three… one I forgot to print, and one refused to believe that I was really me).

Four adulting things I plan to do in 2012:

1. Open a high-yield savings account (I would have done this today, but then I realized I have nothing to save). 
2. Get organized. This includes buying my very own book of stamps and business envelopes, because I might need to mail… you know… something important. This also includes starting my own collection of file folders for my new important adulting documents (i.e. credit reports).
3. Rent a house with at least 2 of my BFFs (hollaaaaa Mads and Mels), approval based on my spotless credit report, of course. 
4. Apply to graduate school. There goes another 6 years of my life. 

Can I do it? Stay tuned, kiddos.

This Is Selah

I had a moment today that reminded me of the very concept for which I named my blog, “selah,” and I knew it was just what I needed to get the posts rolling again.

So all this week, I’m working as a counselor for a kind of “camp.” It’s actually called the Next Steps Summer Institute, which is a post-secondary education program for young adults with intellectual and developmental disabilities. From Sunday to Friday, I am living with 15 students ages 16 to about 24 in the Mayfields on campus. We’re learning about things like self-advocacy, independent living, and social skills, and we’re also doing really awesome stuff like line dancing at Wildhorse, going to a Sounds game, and bowling.

One student in particular has really been heavy on my mind this week. Most of them are super outgoing, and it can be extremely hard to get them to stop talking. But this guy has hardly said a word over the past 3 days. The other counselors and I have tried everything we can think of to make him feel more comfortable and open up a little, but all we get are one word answers, if that.

Are you excited for line dancing Wild Horse? (shakes head)

Do you like country music? (inaudable “nope”)

Well we’re so glad you’re being flexible and willing to try new things! (no response)

So needless to say, he was the last person we expected to volunteer to talk for 30 seconds about a random topic for a public speaking exercise. The teacher asked for a few volunteers, most of whom went up to the front of the room and ran out of things to say about their assigned topic after about 20 seconds. Then, miracle of all miracles, he raises his hand to go next! What? He must be confused… He walks up to the front, draws a topic, and begins to speak so quietly and slowly that most people don’t even realized he’s started. Once the students finally figure out what is happening, they fall absolutely silent… either because they can’t hear or are in utter shock that he is speaking full sentences. His topic was “storms,” and his speech went something like this: 

Storms scare me.

There is loud thunder, and there is lightening when it storms.

When I was younger, I used to get in bed with my parents during storms. Now, I just pull the covers over my head. 

The power may go out during a storm.

Sometimes, when lightening hits a house, it could set it on fire.

Or the rain from the storm could flood a city like in Nashville last year.

30 seconds.

Roaring applause.

I hope this translates through writing, because his speech came across as a pure and captivating poem in the way that he spoke those words. I had tears in my eyes because of the beauty, grace, and peace that descended like a blanket of snow on the audience (and no, I wasn’t the only one). Spoken from anyone else, these words would have just been words. But his virtual silence up to that point made the the ones he chose to speak that much more stunning.

I think this is a beautiful picture of the way God sometimes speaks to me. In response to His ephemeral silence, I get lost in the din of life, bouncing from noise to noise to more noise because I just want to fill my ears with something. I am a noise junkie - I listen to music, television, friends, celebrities, leaders, the couple arguing at the table next to me in Fido… The list goes on and on. My ears are so tuned in to life’s noise that I sometimes barely even notice when the Lord begins speaking in my life. Today he said this:

“… search your hearts and be silent.” - Psalm 4:4

Through this incredible young man, God told me to just shut up and listen! Simply sit and soak in the silence of His strong, quiet Word - That is “selah.” 

A squirrel just perched itself on a trashcan 3 feet from where I am sitting, looked me in the eye, and peed. The nerve of some Vanderbilt squirrels…

Day one of fall break: Nine people piling into a five person guest cottage in seaside because if I had checked the calendar on vrbo, I would have seen that my house is occupied tonight.

Stressed? No way. Loving life and loving snuggling in a twin bed with piggy.

The beach wont be able to handle us tomorrow.

Girl of Grace

I really admire women with grace. You know, that girl that never lets you see her sweat… because she just doesn’t. How does she do it? Does she just have an innate ability to avoid awkward situations without seeming rude and standoffish? Or does she just know how to handle uncomfortable circumstances without missing a beat so that no one will question what may be behind her unshakable composure? 

Scenario:

An average looking boy with an average personality suggests you grab lunch on a Saturday. The graceful girl says, “Sure, I wouldn’t mind meeting you for lunch [at a moderately priced, trendy restaurant far away from campus so that I won’t see anyone I know] on Saturday.” So she goes. And the date she thought would be painful turns out to be bearably mediocre. When he suggests a follow-up, she is regrettably busy. And not into him enough to clear anything of questionable priority from her schedule.

Well played, girl of grace. Not rude, not awkward, just blissfully uninterested and unimpressed.

But - what does girl of grace do when boy of sub par social awareness presents her with a gift of one-year-anniversary caliber? Answer: I have no idea, my friends.

I panicked. I crumbled.

Composure? What composure? How can I be expected to maintain composure when blindsided with such a counter intuitive gesture? I did all I could to fire my friend-vibe-loaded laser gun right at his date-me head. And all I got in response was a gift that left me distressed over the ungodly price tag he so sweetly left on the box.

Now, all this is not to say that I’m complaining that a guy took me out and bought me a gift… Ok, maybe I am. But in the meantime, I’ll be trying to figure out how to keep up graceful appearances.